The last few weeks I’ve been feeling very ordinary and down to earth; even boring at times. Do you ever feel this way?
After the amazing experiences I’ve had since I turned 40 in March I was thinking that this time I had it sussed…life was good! Reality has hit again though. Now that my GCSE exams are over I’m having to get back into a Level 3 Administration course that I need to finish by January – it’s challenging because it’s boring! Aargh. Also I’m overweight again and have been feeling like it’s impossible to lose anything. I’ve gotten into the habit of comfort eating. Oh, and my many connections that I was having…they are still here, they just aren’t as frequent as they were.
Enter some loneliness, sadness, feelings of “I can’t do this/I’m no good” and even some mild depression at times. How do I deal with this? Interestingly while I feel all these things I can still say that I’m not lost in these emotions. I can observe them and coach myself through them. So if I’m feeling lonely I notice that. I accept it. I tell myself it will pass. And it does. If I’m feeling depressed I notice it. Accept it. Tell my husband or best friend about it. Have a nap. And watch something inspiring – like a Ted Talk on Belonging. And it passes.
Sometimes I experience fear. Fear that I’m going to fall into another dark year of depression like I did two years ago. But then I remind myself, that even if I do that it wasn’t all bad. Yes, it was hard; excruciatingly hard. But while at the time I thought I was just surviving and had actually gone backwards in my growth journey, now I know that it was actually a giant leap forwards. I learned so much going through that time and I have a unique perspective on depression that I’ve been discovering gives me empathy for those who are still going through it.
So I choose to have faith and trust that I am safe and I am loved. I don’t need to worry about the future. I just need to have faith and trust in the present. I have all I need within me to get through. I have the unique insight I’ve gained on my journey to coach myself through what I am going through now.
And so do you. We all do. We all have everything we need within us.
One of the Ted Talks I’ve listened to this week is Ingrid Fetell Lee’s talk on Joy:
I watched it again in order to refresh my memory as I’m writing this post, and again I felt myself being encouraged. Ingrid says, “Joy…now that I knew what to look for, I was seeing it everywhere. It was like these little moments of joy were hidden in plain sight.”
Some moments of joy I’ve been noticing today are: having breakfast outside in the sunshine with my eldest daughter, snuggling up with my youngest watching a Barbie movie, listening to my three children chatting and laughing together outside, receiving messages from a wonderful friend. Yes, life is full of ups and downs – it’s just the nature of life. However, joy can be found even in the ordinary. Let’s look for little moments of joy, because they are everywhere!