On Magic

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I’m experiencing magic every day! I’m living a magical life. Two months ago I only dreamed that this way of living was possible. I’ve caught glimpses of it for years, had a knowing it was available, but didn’t know how to get here.

I’m still so amazed and in the process of discovering who this me is, this real me that I’ve always been. From my understanding of my process I can see that we have an eternal part of us that is perfect, bright, shining, incredible. But when we come into this world we are born into our parent’s stories. Often they have not worked through their life stories to a place of acceptance and understanding and so we endure a lot of rubbish, untrue messages and conditioning that puts a block around our brightness and leaves us confused, sad, doubting and stuck.

Until we start waking up. And then we start to realize that it doesn’t have to be this way! We start questioning everything we have learned and start looking for answers that feel good to us. We start dismantling the old stories and truths that we were surrounded by as children and often have stayed with us long into adulthood. We start setting boundaries with family-of-origin. We start reaching out to other people for support and help. We start investing in ourselves and our own growth. We start prioritizing ourselves.

AND. EVERY. STEP. COUNTS.

Every SINGLE step.

Little things matter:

  • Like taking panadol and water for a tension headache.
  • Buying pretty nightwear.
  • Creating a space in our homes that is all our own.
  • Taking a walk out in nature…listening to the call of our souls to breathe.
  • Taking time just to stop…and breathe.

It’s really okay to start listening to our own emotions/feelings instead of constantly worrying and taking care of others’ emotions. We matter. We really, really do.

What is your soul crying out for? Can you hear it? Can you feel it? Our emotions are the language of the soul. What are your emotions telling you?

  • Feeling resentful inside towards someone likely means you are giving too much to them. Perhaps a boundary is necessary?
  • Feeling suffocated and under a heavy cloud likely means you need personal space to rediscover you.
  • Feeling bored in a relationship could mean you aren’t able to safely express your anger. Finding somewhere you can unpack it would be healthy.
  • Feeling sadness can be about letting go of people or situations that no longer serve you. When we move through stages of our growth we end up having to leave some people behind. It can be really painful. Allow yourself to grieve the loss. Sit with it for a while.
  • Feeling anger can be about not feeling like we have choices or that choices have been taken out of our hands. Letting that anger out in a safe way is very important! Reaching out for support in this process is key, initially. When we let it out, we can then move through to realizing that we do have choices. We can choose to accept the situation or we can choose to change it.

Getting CURIOUS about our feelings, without judgment, can start to revel some very interesting things! Learning to give all our emotions space (joy and love are important too!) and feel what we feel can start us on a wonderful journey of rediscovering who we really are and even discovering heaven on earth.

Magic is real! You’ll find it within you!

Love and Blessings,

Elizabeth

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Rising Strong

 

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I’m often amazed by how a book I’m reading speaks right into what I am living.

In January I shared what I encountered during my first Counselling Course weekend: On Finding Our Unique Voice. During the following three weeks I began to realize that yes, I am strong, but I can also hide behind my strength. And that is not such a good thing!

At this month’s workshop, almost immediately, the returning students were all speaking up and I soon realized that I don’t have to be strong in that room. I can be vulnerable and allow myself to feel things that I haven’t felt in years. During the course of the weekend I experienced sadness (tears rolling down my cheeks), vulnerability and even intense shame. Some of this shame was triggered by everyone laughing (in enjoyment) over my strange vowel sounds: think New Zealand accent in a room full of English ones. I knew in my head they weren’t laughing at me, but my body responded as if they were and it felt like déjà vu. The incredible thing for me was being able to stay in that room in that vulnerable state and then later share my vulnerability with a few of the others and feel totally supported. For the first time. Ever.

After the weekend I continued reading Rising Strong by Brené Brown and I just happened to be in chapter four, The Reckoning.

CURIOSITY is a SHIT-STARTER. BUT THAT’S OKAY. Sometimes we have to RUMBLE WITH A STORY to find the truth. p44

“One of the truisms of wholehearted living is You either walk into your story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for your worthiness. Walking into a story about falling down can feel like being swallowed whole by emotion. Our bodies often respond before our conscious minds, and they are hardwired to protect – to run or fight. Even with small every day conflicts and disappointments, physical and emotional intolerance for discomfort is the primary reason we linger on the outskirts of our stories, never truly facing them or integrating them into our lives. We disengage to self-protect.” p46

Brené also writes: The rising strong reckoning has two deceptively simple parts: (1) engaging with our feelings, and (2) getting curious about the story behind the feelings – what emotions we’re experiencing and how they are connected to our thoughts and behaviors.

I realize that on my journey to where I am today I analyzed my painful past in my head and then moved on. Now I understand that it’s time I walk back into my story again, allowing myself to feel my emotions, get curious about them and integrate my past more fully into my present. I know it’s not going to be an easy process but I am rather excited about it.

Would you like to join me? Next time you feel strongly about something how about stopping a moment to get curious about your emotions and ask yourself some questions about what you are feeling and why. It might feel a little daunting but I believe the price of stuffing our emotions is much higher.

One of the big prices we pay for not rumbling with our story can be in our relationships with our children. Our theory for the second workshop was attachment styles and my tears were flowing as I realized how much I have let my children down because of what I haven’t known. If we didn’t receive what we needed emotionally from our parents then we will end up parenting in the same way. UNLESS we choose to go on a journey to find deeper self-understanding. So I’m choosing not to beat myself up for my failings because I know there is hope for me and for my children because I am choosing to invest time in both myself and in them in order to find healing together.

I can really recommend getting a copy of Rising Strong as Brené does a wonderfully gentle job of leading us through this challenging growth process. If you are intrigued as a parent or a future-parent-to-be and want to research further here is a little introduction: How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Parenting. I can also recommend another book I’ve just begun but already feel like raving about and that is: Parenting from the Inside Out – How a Deeper Self-Understanding can help you Raise Children who Thrive. I don’t know about you but that has always been the desire of my heart – to put wind under my children’s ‘wings’ to help them to fly far!

So, have you walked into your story yet? Or are you living outside of it and still hustling to find your worthiness? I am passionate, not only about walking this journey myself but also about supporting others on their journeys. I welcome you to contact me via my Contact Page. Looking forward to meeting you!

Elizabeth

The opposite of recognizing that we’re feeling something is denying our emotions. The opposite of being curious is disengaging. When we deny our stories and disengage from tough emotions, they don’t go away; instead, they own us, they define us. Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending-to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how this story ends. p50