On Magic

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I’m experiencing magic every day! I’m living a magical life. Two months ago I only dreamed that this way of living was possible. I’ve caught glimpses of it for years, had a knowing it was available, but didn’t know how to get here.

I’m still so amazed and in the process of discovering who this me is, this real me that I’ve always been. From my understanding of my process I can see that we have an eternal part of us that is perfect, bright, shining, incredible. But when we come into this world we are born into our parent’s stories. Often they have not worked through their life stories to a place of acceptance and understanding and so we endure a lot of rubbish, untrue messages and conditioning that puts a block around our brightness and leaves us confused, sad, doubting and stuck.

Until we start waking up. And then we start to realize that it doesn’t have to be this way! We start questioning everything we have learned and start looking for answers that feel good to us. We start dismantling the old stories and truths that we were surrounded by as children and often have stayed with us long into adulthood. We start setting boundaries with family-of-origin. We start reaching out to other people for support and help. We start investing in ourselves and our own growth. We start prioritizing ourselves.

AND. EVERY. STEP. COUNTS.

Every SINGLE step.

Little things matter:

  • Like taking panadol and water for a tension headache.
  • Buying pretty nightwear.
  • Creating a space in our homes that is all our own.
  • Taking a walk out in nature…listening to the call of our souls to breathe.
  • Taking time just to stop…and breathe.

It’s really okay to start listening to our own emotions/feelings instead of constantly worrying and taking care of others’ emotions. We matter. We really, really do.

What is your soul crying out for? Can you hear it? Can you feel it? Our emotions are the language of the soul. What are your emotions telling you?

  • Feeling resentful inside towards someone likely means you are giving too much to them. Perhaps a boundary is necessary?
  • Feeling suffocated and under a heavy cloud likely means you need personal space to rediscover you.
  • Feeling bored in a relationship could mean you aren’t able to safely express your anger. Finding somewhere you can unpack it would be healthy.
  • Feeling sadness can be about letting go of people or situations that no longer serve you. When we move through stages of our growth we end up having to leave some people behind. It can be really painful. Allow yourself to grieve the loss. Sit with it for a while.
  • Feeling anger can be about not feeling like we have choices or that choices have been taken out of our hands. Letting that anger out in a safe way is very important! Reaching out for support in this process is key, initially. When we let it out, we can then move through to realizing that we do have choices. We can choose to accept the situation or we can choose to change it.

Getting CURIOUS about our feelings, without judgment, can start to revel some very interesting things! Learning to give all our emotions space (joy and love are important too!) and feel what we feel can start us on a wonderful journey of rediscovering who we really are and even discovering heaven on earth.

Magic is real! You’ll find it within you!

Love and Blessings,

Elizabeth

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Splashes of Delight

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Have you noticed that when on a journey of growing awareness many of us begin to realize we are all interconnected…like waves of the ocean are connected?

On early morning walks I’m finding myself mesmerized by the way waves coming in meet waves returning from the promenade. There is a splash of delight! A meeting, a jump of joyousness, excitement. That makes sense! Waves transmit energy!

Much like what I hear when listening to two women on interconnecting journeys as they talk excitedly via podcast about what they have been discovering. It’s what I feel when something resonates with me in a book or blog post, or when I’m talking with another woman and we discover a mutual understanding of each others’ experiences. Splashes of delight, exchanges of energy…at soul level.

Am I making sense? I’ll take it further. I also feel these moments of ecstasy when I see another sign that something big is unfolding in my life. I was at a writing workshop recently where I was directed to choose an object and two postcards for three different writing activities. Each time I was drawn to brightness. A bright yellow bath-toy duckling, a bright flower, a lamp shining in the darkness. I observed this brightness theme with curiosity. An inner knowing grew stronger that day – there is a great brightness within me that is strong and glowing, but this brightness has been covered over with the rubbish and criticisms from others’ pain and dysfunction. This has become my inner critic which has been saying for years that I can’t trust my intuition, this brightness, my connection to the divine – that I need to hide it or it’ll hurt people or seem arrogant or not be good enough.

This awakening has been continuing and again a week later on my counselling course this concept came up: the bright sparkly part of me was ridiculed and stamped on by people in my early years. Now that I can see this more clearly I know I do not want it to continue. With help from others I am re-writing these old stories and learning to trust my inner knowing.

We all have bright, sparkly parts which we’ve perhaps even forgotten are there because they’ve been buried so deep by pain, rejection, lies and misunderstanding. The amazing thing is we can share with each other what we are learning on our individual journeys. What one person bravely shares can spark another person’s epiphany. We can encourage each other as we move towards greater understanding and boldly living our brightness.

I’ve been following Elizabeth Gilbert on Facebook since reading Big Magic last year. Recently she linked to Carrie Hilgert who is another amazing woman daring to uncover her brightness and share her gifts with the world. Last week she posted her star sign artwork and I looked through them to see which image drew me in. This one did – can you see the lighted match at her centre?

I’ve only recently allowed myself to be curious about star signs (it was a no-no in my Christian upbringing) and so I had to go looking to see what my sign is. Bingo, I am an Aries. Emotion flooded me…here was another sign that I’m on the right path…that I’m connected to something much bigger than me. It was another splash of delight, an exchange of energy!

How about you? Are you in touch with your inner brightness, your soul, your unique gifts? Do you live from a place of peace and inner confidence? There is so much to learn around all this but for now I’m so glad you’ve found my online space. I’d love to have you share one of your moments of delight! What is opening up for you, lovely reader?

 

Blessings!

Elizabeth

 

A Secure Base + Alignment

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I woke early on Sunday morning and while trying to quietly check messages on my phone I mistakenly pushed replay on a cute little video. Oops, the sound came on! I quickly shut it off hoping it hadn’t disturbed my sleeping husband and shortly afterwards my seven year old tentatively pushed open the door. “Oh, good you are awake!” he whispered as I beckoned him in.

We snuggled together for a while and then I suggested we go for a walk. We live in a lovely little coastal town and as we headed towards the sea I was wondering how to get the refreshment I needed while also enjoying the 1:1 time with my boy. It wasn’t long before he asked if he could go along a grassy bank while I walked along the promenade. I encouraged this and it was lovely to watch him checking in every now and then by making eye contact and waving. I also watched him walk calmly past a dog on a lead (he’s had great paranoia around dogs) and then proudly make the thumbs up sign to me at the exact moment I was giving him thumbs up, acknowledging his bravery. Special moment.

As we continued our walk he became more and more adventurous and while he was off I had time to reflect and breathe – my blissful happy place. There were a couple of moments of slight anxiety on my part but he followed directions beautifully and met me again twice, exactly where I had directed. Both of us have grown in confidence through this and we arrived home happy in our shared experience, but also refreshed from our times alone.

I’m loving the lesson this has given me in letting go of the pressure I’ve had on myself to be an ever-present mother. Not only did my soul receive much-needed refreshment during my walk, but my son also made progress on his own journey to greater independence.

I’ve been learning about the concept of a Secure Base recently and here is an excerpt from John Bowlby’s book, A Secure Base:

This brings me to a central feature of my concept of parenting – the provision by both parents of a secure base from which a child or an adolescent can make sorties into the outside world and to which he can return knowing for sure that he will be welcomed when he gets there, nourished physically and emotionally, comforted if distressed, reassured if frightened. John Bowlby, A Secure Base p12

I love that this is what I was able to offer my boy this morning…the opportunity to “make sorties into the outside world”. It’s made me realize how valuable my process of letting go is going to be for my children as well. As I focus on providing a secure base for them I can also encourage more independence, which will in turn give me more time to be me…without guilt!

In my last post I wrote about having a supportive environment for myself . It is contributing hugely to my growth process at the moment. I didn’t have a secure base growing up; my home life was challenging and not a safe place for me emotionally. I have struggled for years, mainly on my own, to understand my past in order to enjoy life now. I’ve loved offering emotional support to many along my journey as I’ve shared what I’ve been learning, but to finally have this kind of support for myself…it’s is an incredible gift.

What if we didn’t have to struggle alone? What if we were able to find a secure base from which we could venture out into the world, knowing that we had a supportive environment to return to or someone in our corner to connect with? What if, when we realized a lack, we actively sought this out for ourselves?

When I think about my process to finding the support I have now I realize that it’s been intuition + action that = the alignment I’m feeling. Rian Kerfoot has been writing about this in her Facebook group, Own Your Magic. She is one of the wonderful women that has been a shining light on my recent journey. Megan Hale, my Enoughness Coach, is another amazing influence. I love looking back at the way I was led to her work at just the right time for me. I could say that it began with reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic last year, which led me to be brave and start this blog, which led me to Rian’s blog, which led me to Megan…but I’m sure that there were plenty of intuition+action=alignment points well before then.

Intuition + Action = Alignment

All this to say, follow the signs that are showing up in your life! Read that book, write that post, watch that Ted Talk, connect with that person. As you follow the promptings of your inner knowing I’m absolutely sure you’ll be led on a journey that will rock your world and set your soul on fire!

From my heart to yours,

Elizabeth

On Finding Our Unique Voice

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I’m writing this post for myself as this is something that has been very much on my mind since the weekend. As you will know, if you are keeping up with my blog, I’ve just been to the first workshop for my counselling course. It is a unique course (so I’m told) as there is just a smattering of theory with lots of hands on practice with our own very real issues. It’s a small group made up of returning students and new ones and almost immediately we had the opportunity to share what we were thinking and feeling with the group.

Very soon I felt like I had things I could add, but I held back as the returning students weren’t saying much. Eventually one of the other new students was irritating me so much that I couldn’t help but say, “I am feeling very irritated by you.” It felt wrong to speak this out, but if my intuition was right I was not the only one feeling that way. I was able to ask this student, “Why are you here?” In the answer that came I actually felt that I could relate a bit to where they were coming from and I felt my irritation fall away.

I continued to speak up in the group through the course of the day. I would have an urge to speak and would do so, but once I had I began to judge myself quite harshly. “Perhaps you shouldn’t have said that!” “Everyone’s quiet, what are they thinking about you?” I even spoke up at the end of the day and said how judgmental I was being about myself. I headed home, excited about the day I’d had and the people I was getting to know, but still unsure if I should have been speaking up or not. What were people thinking about me?

The next day I felt even more nervous as I walked up the hill from the train station. I found myself talking under my breath to myself, encouraging myself that it was going to be okay.  I found I had more courage to speak up in the group and less judgment for myself afterwards. I started to see the effect my words were having on those around me as well. The returning students began to add their voices. As more began sharing about things that were issues for them I felt more and more connected and empathetic towards them. I could relate, I could understand. I had been there.

It came home to me again how we are all walking wounded. We all have stories we were born into that we are still trying to figure out today, well into our adult lives. None of us have escaped suffering and pain. In the normal world we are taught to put on masks, pretend, strive to be “perfect”. In that room on my course we were given the space to be who we are, without judgement. As I spoke up past my insecurities I began to realize that I do have a lot to offer others. I began to see the value in the unique contributions I can bring.

And that is the wonderful thing: we all have unique contributions to make to the world and to those around us. No one else has experienced what you have. You are one of a kind and so am I. The world needs to hear what we have to say.

I was so encouraged to read Elizabeth Gilbert’s update this morning. It was spot on for me today.

By the third day of my course I felt like I was in my element. I was listening more, holding myself back a bit to make room for others to speak, but I was also more confident that when I spoke it was okay for me to do so. I began to see that I was playing an important part in the whole. I was finding my voice, and I was seeing “magic” happen as I did.

That doesn’t mean that I have been without fear since. I’ve felt desperate for feedback that what I contributed was okay. I’m working on that with my therapist and already know that I’m going to have to bring those insecurities up in the group next time. Eek! But I am encouraged too, as I know that as I feel the fear and do it anyway I am going to grow, I’m going to encourage others to risk being vulnerable too, and I’m going to learn even more about myself and what my unique voice looks like. Hooray for growth, even when it’s scary!

Here are a few related quotes that have encouraged me:

We’re always being told find your voice. When I was younger, I never really knew what this meant. I used to worry a lot about voice, wondering if I had my own. But now I realize that the only way to find your voice is to use it. It’s hardwired, built into you. If you want people to know about what you do and the things you care about, you have to share. Talk about the things you love. Your voice will follow. Austin Kleon

In life, finding a voice is speaking and living the truth. Each of you is an original. Each of you has a distinctive voice. When you find it, your story will be told. You will be heard. John Grisham

Listen to your voice. No one else can hear it. Tell your story. No one else can speak it. Run after your passion. No one else can catch it. Being true to the person you were created to be is the best gift you can give yourself, your family and the world. Joel Boggess

It’s not about finding your voice, it’s about giving yourself permission to use your voice. Kris Carr

If you feel that you are not strong enough to let your creative voice become heard, start with a whisper, your voice will come. Unknown

Are you using your voice? I’m looking forward to hearing it!

Elizabeth

Magical Words

I am currently reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s latest book ‘Big Magic’. And what a book it is! In one week I have gone from a long-term wannabe writer to actually writing. I have begun this blog – so what if it’s only for my eyes while I get going?! I have signed up today for Naniwrimo, something I’ve been wanting to do for 3-4 years! In preparation for Naniwrimo I’ve begun reading ‘Writing the Breakout Novel’ by Donald Maass, a book I have owned for about 6 months and which was on my wish list for about 3 years before that.

Elizabeth writes about Courage, Enchantment, Permission, Persistence, Trust and Divinity. In reading through the first four so far I have found that Elizabeth is systematically dismantling all the excuses I’ve been fooling myself with for years.

I’ve been afraid. I’ve allowed the fear of not being good enough to hold me back from working towards a dream I’ve held since childhood. I’ve been inspired time and time again to write. I’ve started out many times, excited, passionate and with good intentions. Elizabeth talks about that too – cycles. I now know that my fears won’t go away, but I can move past them…up to those old sticking points and beyond.

So I’m choosing to move beyond fear. I’m choosing to be afraid and write anyway. It doesn’t have to be good, I just have to write. In the writing I will get better, in the writing I will begin to believe I can and in the believing I can, I will.

Thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert, for having the courage to write through your fears. Thank you for writing about ideas and geniuses and inspiration…and for giving me the permission to write. I am very grateful for the words in Big Magic. They are magic for me.